The fear of the finish line

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Sometimes I think my biggest hindrance is the fear of completion.

I looked at my novel last night, and I want to rewrite it. Completely. This is a first for me. I have never wanted to rework my writing before. I am normally a one draft girl. I think very carefully, play out my words before they hit the paper then write.

Of course I tweak, but what I really need to do this time is rework the whole thing. I feel this novel is bigger than me, bigger than my confidence in my own writing ability. It breathes on it’s own and this disconcerts me.

I have a small amount of fear in completing it. Unlike a non fiction book where I sell the concept, get paid an advance then write, this is my first foray into the wonders of writing just for the hell of it. What if no one wants it? It’s the fear of the finish line.

I’m going to have to ignore myself and write regardless. If only to get my chance to rewrite. I’m becoming a “real” writer in spite of myself. It’s slightly disconcerting….

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Filed under book, novel, writing process

Tags: completion, emotion, fear, novel, writing