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behaviour, connecting with people

If it’s at the bare bones stage, maybe it’s not healthy

So I love Ginny Blackmore’s singing and her style.

And Bones is a beautiful song.

For those of you who haven’t heard it- I’ve linked you up

It’s also pretty dangerous I reckon. – for people in unhappy relationships wanting to feel like the other person is going to change miraculously into someone who sees their worth.

Not one of us on this planet should ever allow ourselves to give to the level she talks about in a relationship, and still feel so empty and lonely inside. And giving to someone while fighting for your needs to be met is not right.

I’ve been there.

Many of us have – and go back there more than once.- either to the same person (oh how I did THAT) or into relationships that have that same awkward unbalance of giving.

I know a pile of women (in particular) who’ve wanted to send that song to someone in the last few weeks- in hope they’d “get” what they do for them, that they’d see what gifts they’ve brought that the other person doesn’t see.

If instead, we focus on spending time with people (doesn’t need to be romantic) who really do see what we give as precious, who do appreciate us, who reciprocate – life is not empty, or lonely and unappreciated. It is full and happy and healthy.

Eighteen months ago I would have cried while listening to that song, wondering why I wasn’t enough. Now – I listen to it, and know I was always enough – but I was showing my “enoughness” to the wrong person. – And I’m secure I won’t ever fall into a place again where I feel I need to fight for my own needs to be met. It’s not a “right” we should have to battle for.

It’s a song. It’s just a song. But I think, if I was going to choose a song I’d prefer my own daughters to live by (and my friends and myself…) it would far more likely to be one talking about leaving someone who can’t see my worth, than crying out that I wish they’d change (because…. they won’t. ) (Maybe R.E.S.P.E.C.T  ? 🙂 )

Life is really too short to spend it with people who don’t see you as the beautiful you that you are. What a waste otherwise,  of all those beautiful gifts you’re laying out!

About rgoodchild

Parenting and education coach, working primarily with ECE teachers, and parents of 0-8 year olds. Author of 27 published print titles, and a few e books too. Was a freelance writer Mother, business woman, entrepreneur.

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The Elephant in the Room
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